Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Bulletin Misprints

    So my friend sent me these a few weeks ago, and I've been meaning to post them on here because they are just. so. funny.  These are little bulletin excerpts that were really printed in actual church bulletins, however, either somebody wasn't paying attention to their spelling and grammar, or they didn't realize how they were wording the announcement.  The results are pretty hilarious.  I was pretty much in tears by the time I got to the bottom.  Read on and find out for yourself. :)

~ The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
~ The sermon this morning: “Jesus Walks on Water.”
   The sermon tonight: “Searching for Jesus.”
~ Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
~ The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
~ Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.
~ Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.
~ Miss Charlene Mason sang “I will not pass this way again,” giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
~ For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
~ Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
~ The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: “Break Forth Into Joy.”
~ Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
~ Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
~ Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
~ The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment, and gracious hostility.
~ Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM – prayer and medication to follow
~ The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would send him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
~ Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet on Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
~ The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
- And, my favorite..
 ~ At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What is Hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Hope you enjoyed these! :)


Amy said...

Oh MY GOSH! I was trying to read these out loud but I was laughing too hard! Thank you so much, this totally made my day!

Grace said...

Oh. My. Goodness. I died of laughter. :) God bless you (and the poor souls mentioned in this list; they will give me unending mirth)!

Vicki said...

Oh my goodness...I'm crying. These are so good (or is it bad...haha)! That last one is the best...it seems like something that would be put in our bulletin.

Thanks for sharing these! I needed a good laugh.

Decked Out in Ruffles

Victoria said...

THAT. WAS. HILARIOUS. Oh my goodness. My sides hurt. Thanks for posting this!

Maria Schneider said...

I think I laughed the hardest at the "electric girdles".

Ruth said...

That was fun! :)

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